Saturday, September 25, 2010

If NASCAR Were a Musical: Hamlin vs. RCR

Thank God for Denny Hamlin. 

You may think he's mouthy, immature and lacking in judgment. But he sure is good at stirring the pot and amping up interest in any given race.

It started Friday with Hamlin's harsh weigh-in on the penalty against the No. 33 Richard Childress Racing team.  He ripped RCR to shreds.

And it just got better from there.

The umpteen media stories about the escalating fuss between Hamlin and RCR make for riveting reading (it's hard to top a quote like "pissing contest with a skunk").  Yet there is another way to tell the tale - through the magical and universal language of song.

Without further ado, I give you a summary of this week's biggest story - retold in the lyrics of popular songs:

Hamlin on Clint Bowyer and RCR's penalty: "Don't think I don't think about it. I've seen it all before.  Everybody knows. Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats. Hey white liar - you get what you deserve."

Bowyer to Hamlin: "Shut up and drive."

Childress on Hamlin: "Ain't no talkin' to this man."

Bowyer on his team's penalty: "What kind of fool do you think I am? I know I should not gamble, 'cause I can't afford to lose. It's a bitch at the bottom."

Harvick to Hamlin: "You're walkin' on the fightin' side of me."

Hamlin to Harvick: "Hit me with your best shot."

Mike Ford to Hamlin: "Just walk away."

Childress to NASCAR: "What I need is a good defense. They will stop degrading us.  They will not control us. We will be victorious."

Jimmie Johnson on the whole deal: "Here's a quarter, call someone who cares."

Editor's note: See the comments for song titles from which the lyrics were pulled.

1 comment:

  1. Editor's Note: Song titles from which the lyrics were pulled are listed in order below:

    "Don't Think I Don't Think About It," Darius Rucker; "Seen It All Before," Amos Lee; "Before He Cheats," Carrie Underwood; "White Liar," Miranda Lambert; "Get What You Deserve," The Derek Trucks Band; "Shut Up and Drive," Rihanna; "Let Him Fly," Patty Griffin; "What Kind of Fool Do You Think I Am?," Leroy Parnell; "Bad Angel," Dierks Bentley; "Lonely At the Top," Jamey Johnson; "Fightin' Side of Me," Merle Haggard; "Hit Me With Your Best Shot," Pat Benetar; "Walk Away," Kelly Clarkson; "Criminal," Fiona Apple; "Uprising," Muse; "Here's a Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares)," Travis Tritt