Wednesday, December 8, 2010

A NASCAR Christmas List

Now that "Team Earntarte" is a reality, Junior fans  have reason
to call Christmas merry.
Logs are crackling in the fireplace.  Lights are flickering on the tree. And marshmallows are melting their gooey goodness into my hot chocolate.

It's the perfect night for writing a Christmas list.

Or better still, the perfect night for contemplating what gifts our favorite drivers and their fans might want - or need - for the holidays.

If I were Santa, here's what I'd bring the below NASCAR peeps in my big bag of presents come Christmas Eve:

Jeff Gordon and Jeff Burton - If you're gonna "have at it boys", at least make it look somewhat threatening.  The Jeffs'  little dustup during the Chase was good TV - but I doubt it struck fear into the hearts of other drivers.  That's why I'm suggesting jolly ol' St. Nicholas bring the pair a little formal instruction in the art of hand-to-hand combat.

Jimmie Johnson - You might think that Johnson has all he'll ever need - a beautiful wife, a darling baby girl, five Sprint Cup championships and the smartest crew chief around. But that's where you're wrong.  This season it became clear that ol' Johnson is standing in the need of hair - or less of it.  Somebody give the man a haircut.  The scraggly look does not suit.

Junior Nation - When Rick Hendrick announced the formation of team "Earntarte" in November, Christmas came a little early for Junior Nation - and also for Dale Earnhardt Jr.  Request granted.

Kyle Busch - I know Rowdy has taken a lot of heat for his one-finger salute on national television, but what's a little more ribbing among fans? He claimed after being parked a lap that NASCAR was hampering his constitutional rights by denying him the right to express himself.  Turns out, he's correct. According to the U.S. Court system, "flipping the bird" is legally protected by the U.S. Constitution ... but NASCAR is a country unto itself and sometimes everyday laws just don't apply.  So in that case, perhaps Santa will leave the book "Beyond Anger" in Busch's stocking.

Brian Vickers - It'll be a gift to NASCAR fans to see Vickers back behind the wheel come the Daytona 500. Here's hoping Santa grants him a spot in next year's Chase to cement Vickers' long-awaited return.

Darrell Waltrip - When Waltrip failed to make the second class of inductees into the NASCAR Hall of Fame, his disappointment was palpable. Even those who weren't big fans of DW felt a little sorry for him. For Waltrip's sake, I hope Santa brings him the votes he needs to make the Hall of Fame's third class - nobody would be more appreciative of the honor.

1 comment:

  1. I would suggest for both Jeffs memberships to the nearest MMA academy or to be on opposite sides on "The Ultimate Fighter."